Sunday, June 7, 2009

and you people wonder why I'm mental..

If you have ever wanted to see me in my bra holding a pussy, you need to go theck out my daughter's video blog. I will wait.. it is hilarious and not as kinky as it sounds.... perverts. Just make sure you comment, then come back here to read my post:

This is part of a conversation I had with a contractor calling before they dig:

I verified all of their company mailing information, she said "Yes, that's correct"

I asked her another question and she said.. "Wait, I don't think the mailing address for our company is correct, what do you have?"

I read it again. She says "I don't know where you got that information, but that is wrong"

Through clenched teeth I said "Oh I'm sorry that is the info that was already in our system for your company, when I read it to you, you said it was correct"

Like the bitch she is she said, "Well it's not correct, I need to change it"

So we changed it.

I then asked her who the field contact would be if any questions should arise.

She gave me a first name. We have to have 1st and last name. She puts me on hold to get and answer. I was on hold F O R E V E R. After 3 minutes, we are allowed to hang up on the dumbass release the call. After 2 minutes and 52 seconds, she returns with the last name and phone number.

I asked a couple of more questions, she answered.. then says

"Wait, what do you mean by field contact"

Muting her and letting out an exasperated sigh, I took her off mute and said "The person in the field they can contact if there are any questions."

She says "From my company?"

I said "WHOEVER!"

"Oh well let me change that then, I gave you the number for a homeowner in that community"


Moving on..

I asked, "How deep will you be digging at the deepest?"

"Yes we will be digging"


"OOOOOOOOOK.. and how deep will you be digging at the deepest?"

"10 inches"

Thank you, and will you be using machinery to dig?"

"OH we're not digging."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "Well then, there is no reason to have this service then. This is call before you dig. We charge the utilities to go out and mark the lines so you won't cut into them when you dig"

"Well, obviously aren't going to be digging where the lines are marked, but we need to know where they are first"

No shit Sherlock, that is the reason for this service" "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight that's purpose of this free service"

"We are going to be digging 6in"

I wish these calls weren't recorded

"So 6in not 10in?"


"And will you be using machinery to dig?"

"I don't know"

"Ok, I will put "yes" to be on the safe side"

"What do you mean by machinery"


"Anything that is powered by a machine and not a shovel"

"Oh yes.. we will be using a backhoe"


Moving on, I successfully get county city and address. Then I ask for the intersecting street closest to the address.

I get the standard "There isn't one"

I give the standard "dumbass" reply, "It has to come off of some road somewhere."

"Oh it's.. Smith Rd"

"Is that within 1/4 mile from the property?"


"Approx how far is it then?"

If you are wondering, this is NOT me being bitchy, I HAVE to know in order to notify the correct utilities

"I'll have to put you on hold to find out"

"Thank you"

At this point I wrapped my headset cord around my neck stood up in my chair and threatened to jump. Really, I did! A cool teamleader/friend threatened to beat my ass if I didn't get down. She's kinda scary, so I did.

After 2 minutes and 43 seconds on hold , she comes back.

"It's not within a 1/4 mile, it's at the NW corner of the intersection."

Right about then, my brain exploded at the stupidity of this woman.

After I wiped the gray matter of of my monitor, I mumbled something about "at the corner IS within 1/4 mile"

When I asked what part of the property she was digging, she didn't know. She didn't bother to put me on hold this time, she just yelled "Where will we be digging"

The reply, "At the guard shack" So I asked "In the front, the rear, the side? What part of the guard shack?"

"Where the white spray painted lines are"

I said I don't see your white lines on the map, I have to tell the utilities specifically where you will be digging."

She said, "Oh well the rain might have washed away the white lines and that's why you can't see them."

Shoot me now

I said "Nooooooooooooooooooo I can't see them because I am sitting in an office at a computer 7 counties north of where you plan to dig. So what part of the guard shack do you need marked.

"The whole thing"

"Is the address you gave me the address for the guard shack?"

"No, that the address for a house inside the community"

I'm ready to jump again

"Then I will take the address off because it has nothing to do with the area you are digging"

"Well how are the going to find it then?"

"Didn't you tell me the guard shack was at the NW corner of Smith Rd and Williams St?"

"Yes, but that's not where it is"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? "Then where is the guard shack?"

"I don't know"

I said, "Can I speak to the person you have been asking all of the questions?"


"Because it seems he is more knowledgeable about the job site than you are, it would just be easier for me to speak to them"

With a sigh, she yells "SHE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH YOU"

He get's on the phone asked me what the problem is. I explain what I needed to know. He tells me, "The guard shack is at 2000 Williams St"
I explained to him that she told me that address was a house inside the community.

He said, "No ma'am that is address is the actual address for the guard shack."

"Thank you, you can put her back on the phone now."

I finished the call and went on break.

Now do you understand why I need chocolate Vicodin, Valium and Vodka?


Me-Me King said...

Hilarious! Once again, you have brought tears of laughter to my eyes.

BTS, I stopped by Tiffany's blog. The apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

dizzblnd said...

LOL Nope.. it sure didn't. Thanks for going to her blog. She likes the bloggy love!